The One Where Stephen King Sends Me a Message of Grace

"It don't matter if you believe in God; Nick, he believes in you.” Mother Abigail From "The Stand" by Stephen King

Every now and then I've read a book where I finish it and think, "Wow! What did I just read!?!" Stephen King's "The Stand" is one of those books. I read it the first time in 1986 when I was 25 years old and have read it once a year ever since. 

Not to turn this post into book report assignment for Junior High English, it is the story of how the world nearly ends when a deadly strain of influenza gets out of a military facility in the southwest. The virus is estimated to be fatal in 94% of the cases. "The Stand" is the story of the survivors and what happens to them. 

One of my favorite characters in the book is Nick Andros who is deaf and mute, and through a series of events and dreams ends up in Hemingford Home, Nebraska at the home of Mother Abigail who has been chosen by God to make the stand against evil. Mother Abigail has a deep and abiding belief in God.  Her very essence radiates her love for and belief in God. She is 108 years old. 

Nick does not believe in God. His life has not been easy. His father died before he was born; prenatal trauma has left him deaf and mute; his mother dies when his still a young boy; he ends up in orphanage where he is tormented and abused by the other children there. If you want to know Nick's journey, read the book.  Really, it's a good one. 

Mother Abigail has told Nick that God has his finger on him among others to lead in the stand. Nick conveys to her that he does not believe in her God knowing he could hurt or anger her by telling her this. Instead she looks at him kindly and says the quote I used to start this post. 

Mother Abigail could have said the same to me. 

I compare my ongoing journey to God to the board game my sister and I used to play called "Chutes and Ladders." By shaking a die, we'd move our game pieces closer to the top of the board to be the winner. Along the way there were ladders which could bring us closer to the top and closer to winning. However, there were also chutes (like slides) and landing on one of those would bring us down toward the start of the game. The closer we got to the top, the shorter the ladders became and the longer were the chutes the bottom.
Like the game, through the years, the closer I felt I was finding God's grace, I would land on a chute and sometimes I would end up only a little bit away from Him--usually though it would be down the long slide, and I would feel very far away.  Sometimes I didn't even want to roll the die any longer I was done. Like my sister, who didn't want me to stop playing with her, God didn't want me to stop moving towards Him.  It didn't matter if I didn't think I believed in God, He believed in me. The closer I came to accepting that God wasn't giving up on me, the more I continued on the journey toward the top of the board to be with him.
I still have times when I slide down the chutes, but the slides downward are shorter. There aren't many ladders up, but there don't need to be because I need to make the journey in short steady steps.  The Covenant Group helps me to continue moving towards finding that grace.
Stephen King is probably not the first writer anyone would think of when asked to think of a writer who has moved you on a spiritual journey. However, that one phrase, "he believes in you" was the start of a 30 plus year journey of finding my way to Him.

Till next time. . .welcome to my neighborhood. 

In-Laws and Outlaws

I have the best in-laws in the world. Unfortunately they are from my ex-husband's family. When I go home to Wisconsin, I make sure to make time for lunch with any of the Riemer Family who have the time to see me.  I get to catch up on babies, marriages, divorces, engagements and all of the other family fun.  I fill them in on my life on Long Island, my job etc.

My mother believes that I should cut the ties to my ex-husband's family, and I can always sense her disapproval when I mention that I'm seeing them or stay in contact. Mostly now the contact is through FB, but it's more contact than I have with the long suffering Jim's brother and sister and their families. The nicest thing one of my Riemer nieces said to me was, "You'll always be my Aunt Diane."

I'll never get to be a mother-in-law, it's just the way things worked out. I hope I would use the lessons I learned from both of my mothers-in-law or is it mother-in-laws, or how about the mothers of my husbands.

Lessons from the mothers of my husbands

1. Keep your opinion to yourself (unless asked). I know you're dying to share it with someone so share it with yourself.  You're the only one who wants to hear it. Really just shut it!
2. Unless the kids look like they are starving, physically or mentally abused, they are being raised just fine. 
3. Just because the nutrition guide says a child needs 5 fruits and vegetables per day, if the two year old is screaming for ham at Christmas dinner, just give him the damn ham. 
4. Saying "Thank you" is never wrong.
5. Religion or lack there of is a personal choice. Your religion isn't my religion but neither one of us is wrong. 
6. Just because you don't like it, doesn't mean it's stupid. 
7. When you're too busy minding your own business, you don't have time to be in your in-laws business. 
8. You can freeze butter so stock up when it's on sale. 
9. Pantyhose that didn't fit are never to be regifted--EVER! (Seriously, one year I got pantyhose for Christmas because ex-husband's mother she tried them on, and they were too big for her so she wrapped them up and gave them to me. It's one of my favorite horrible Christmas gift stories ever.)

Both of my mothers-in-law and one father-in-law have passed away.  I love them all, and I miss them all.

Just a thought on the current in-laws

I just barely have a relationship with Jim's sister and none at all with his brother. It's not just me, they don't communicate with Jim either. It's not from lack of trying on either of our parts. They just don't include us as family. Jim's sister, brother, spouses and children get together on holidays, and we aren't invited.  I used to cry about this A LOT! Then last year, Jim's brother informed me that I had an unrealistic ideal of families, and I should just get over it! I was furiously angry for a very long time. It made my stomach hurt how angry I was. Then I was hurt and held on to that grudge for a long time. That kept me from sleeping at night. After an Adult Sunday School session on forgiveness, I decided they are all forgiven, but I'm not putting myself out there to be slapped in the face figuratively or literally any longer. Besides, what am I missing out on?  Not much seriously.  Jim's sister-in-law has always given me the impression that I'm that dog poo on her shoe that she just can't quite rinse off. Jim's brother no longer gives us the time of day.  Jim's sister and I communicate about Jim's father and that is about it. 

Now I've made a family on Long Island with Jim and our dear friends. It's all good. 

Till next time. . .